do you believe in me?

sometimes i wished things got back to normal. i was so disconnected from the outside world and the problems he got.
i actually didn't think about my life and other people lives. it was just so easy for me to wake up, go to school, to hang out with my friends, it was just so normal. and i wasn't thinking that i have all i need. i was happy and i didn't enjoy it. it is stupid because i could do better choices and i could be a better person now.
but, there is no science to solve this. its just me and my stupid head watching everybody moving on and fulfilling their desires and ambitions. i guess my ambition is with someone else, because i didn't take care of her and i kinda lost it, i can do nothing about my situation right now. I had spoken with my sis a lot of times but she didn't listen to me. she says i m just making a big deal of all that. but, am i right? it is a real big deal, its my future and i would like to have a happy future, to do something i want a long time ago, even if i missed some parts of the way to get here. dont should you all  have an opportunity to show our very best? i know i can be better than, i can do better. i just need someone to believe me.  *there is no option to click on : yes, it sucks" i m trying to move forward. a week .